The Cobbler (2015)

2:30 am

3.5/10

The Cobbler is about a shoe maker (Adam Sandler) who gets a magic shoe stitching machine that allows him to transform into any person by putting on their shoes after he has worked on them with said machine.

Now, I can get enjoyment out of some bad movies and I accept that trait. I did not find very much enjoyment in The Cobbler. Adam Sandler changing into different people using their shoes was a mediocre concept from the start. The only redeeming quality in this film was that they had the M-e-t-h-o-d Man himself. Not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but definitely not good.

==Spoilers==

 

It actually started off normal, Adam Sandler (his character’s name is Sam but I will not reference him as such) is doing his job fixing shoes and not caring about his city the same way he doesn’t care about his movies anymore. Then he finds the magic shoe stitcher and starts turning into other people. I actually had to step away so I could prepare myself for what I was about to watch.

Like I said, I did really like Method Man in this movie. His change from gangster to average guy when Adam Sandler turned into his was actually pretty good.

I’m surprised Adam Sandler didn’t steal more shoes during the movie, he did it once to steal that guy’s sports car but that was it. He could have taken anyone’s shoes because according to the movie, everyone in New York wears a size 10 1/2 shoe. Imagine how many other hot girlfriends Adam Sandler could have banged if he’d stolen more shoes.

I really don’t have a ton to say about this movie because it was so ridiculous. I mean, Adam Sandler takes down a mob boss using magic shoes. There were a few things I wanted to say about the ending though.

Steve Buscemi turning out to be Adam Sandler’s dad wearing magic shoes didn’t surprise me at all. I did manage to piece together the pear thing that gives it away for some reason, I really don’t know how.

When Adam Sandler’s dad shows him the room full of shoes that have been passed down for generations, the movie didn’t follow its own rule that would make most of those shoes useless. As we see in the movie with Method Man post-death and the zombie guy, if you put on the shoes and turn into someone who is dead, then you turn into their decomposed form. If those shoes have been passed from generation to generation, then most of those shoes would be from someone who has died since the shoes were made. Sure, he could still be anyone he wanted by picking from those shoes, but a lot of the possible choices would turn him into a zombie.

His dad also describes the cobblers with the magic machine to be the “protectors of souls”. So they’re superheroes now? I can’t wait to see the Adam Sandler Cinematic Universe with worse superheroes than Hawkeye and Black Widow.

What did you think? Leave a comment and join the discussion!

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